Soul || Getting Connected & Disconnected

Let me begin this post by saying that I think technology is great. Especially the internet. How else would I be able to share my work with such a wide audience or make great friends who live on the opposite side of the world? How could I have learnt about so many important things that aren't talked about elsewhere? The answer is I couldn't have, and because of that, I think technology/the internet is great.

But I also think there's a line between using the internet for educating and communicating and using it just because you can, because you no longer know how to live your life without it in your fingertips at every opportunity.

I fear I am crossing that line.

Whenever December rolls around I immediately start thinking about New Year's Resolutions, about the steps I can take towards being the person who currently only exists in my imagination. The person I one day want to become. This year my thoughts are based a lot on the way I spend my time and whether or not it's productive. I have to be honest with myself and admit that most of the time it's not.

My thoughts were first triggered by this quote:

“We live in an age where we feel guilt whenever we have to cut someone off but the reality is that some relationships do need to die, some people do need to be unfollowed and defriended. We aren’t meant to be this tethered to the people in our past. The Internet mandates that we don’t burn bridges and keep everyone around like relics but those expectations are unrealistic and unhealthy. Simply put, we don’t need to know what everyone else is up to. We’re allowed to be choosy about who we surround ourselves with online and in real life, even if it might hurt people’s feelings.”

It struck a chord in me quite literally and I spent the next 10 minutes unfollowing people who were never really friends to begin with, people I only followed in the first place because we went to school together etc. I no longer had any connection to them and only kept them (or more accurately their profiles) around to keep tabs on their life. Were they happier than me? Were they having more adventures than me? Were they succeeding where I had failed? I realised I just needed to stop caring. So what if that girl I had English with 2 years ago is travelling the world? It has absolutely no affect on my ability to live life, so why was I spending my time living vicariously through the lives of others?

Once I did all this it felt like a weight I didn't know I was carrying had been lifted off my shoulders. I no longer needed to spend a chunk of my day worrying over the life of someone else. By disconnecting I was becoming more connected. To me, to the things I wanted to do, and it was exciting!

I started looking for other places to start disconnecting. I turned my phone off during the day, I stopped checking instagram over breakfast and started reading books instead. I started to become more conscious of my life rather than scrolling through every day only to watch it end and wonder where the time went. So when I spent a weekend with a friend who spent more time texting and "snap-chatting" others than talking to the people in front of her, I realised what a big step I had taken away from technology.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm still pretty sucky at it. I often find myself aimlessly scrolling through tumblr, or waiting to see if any new notifications pop up on my phone that I had missed while I was sleeping, but I'm hoping that a fresh year gives me the push I need to stop using technology as a distraction from real life. Eventually I have to accept that you cannot download a worthwhile life from the internet, you have to get out and create it yourself.

This isn't supposed to be some "oh look at me I'm so inspirational" post. Not at all. It's simply me trying to untangle my thoughts and hoping maybe it will help untangle some of yours. 

I'm not giving up on technology, after all I absolutely love blogging and all the other wonderful things the internet has to offer. I just want to be more mindful of how I use it, and whether or not by connecting to it I am disconnecting from myself.

If you took the time to read all this, thankyou so much. I know it isn't my usual kind of post but it did take me a long time to put together so I hope you liked it! There's so much more I could waffle on about but I think I'll just leave it at this.

I would really love to hear your thoughts
x Erin