Writing || The Silence

These days I've gotten very good at finding the silence in the world. It follows me everywhere like a shadow. I spin around and catch it trailing me on sunny days and on rainy ones I can feel it in the way the air presses closer against my skin. Sometimes I stare into the mirror and see it reflected back at me; a friend I used to relish being with but now find nothing but discomfort in their companionship.

I play my music loud, I watch movies and go places that are filled with the noise of people living. I purposefully push my way into the centre of crowds in the hopes my shadow of silence will get disorientated, and I can exist swallowed in the sounds of everyone else.

Writing is too quiet.

Thinking is too quiet.

I tiptoe around my thoughts so as not to wake them up. It's easiest to exist off of primal instincts: wake now, eat now, sleep now, repeat.

I've never been one for noise; always preferring to exist in quiet corners, but where do you go when the silence becomes the most deafening sound of all?