On being a Solo Explorer of the Universe

It was almost on this exact date last year that I had my first solo adventure: a trip to the movies to see a book adaptation that none of my friends wanted to see. The whole way there I was nervous, wouldn't people judge me for being alone? Would they think I was lame for enjoying my own company? I could only keep imagining the embarrassing things that could happen. Here's what really happened:

I got there, I bought a ticket to the movie, I watched the movie, it was great.

Nothing else; no stares, no laughs, nothing, and I had a realisation: nobody cared. 

The thing about us as humans is that everyone is the centre of their own universe. You can only hear your thoughts, and everything that happens in the world happens in relation to you as a fixed point. The fact that we are constantly 24/7 the centre of our universe makes it hard for us to realise that this isn't the case with everyone else. They are all seeing the world through their own eyes in relation to their own universe, and you're merely another star in their galaxy. Your life will never matter more to anyone than it does to you; and don't let this thought discourage you because it shouldn't. Just because you're another star to someone else doesn't mean they can't admire and adore you, it simply means that they cannot know what it's like to be you.

But I digress,

What this experience revealed to me was that I'd wasted way too many opportunities to do the things I wanted simply because I thought people would think me strange (I've since learnt that maybe I am strange, and maybe I like that.) I'd put a hold on my own happiness just to make sure that I fit into everyone else's ideas of how someone should act, and you should never ever do that. You as a human being are under no obligation to fit anyone's ideas of who you should be. But you are obliged to make sure that what you're doing makes you the happiest you can be.

Once I got over that initial fear of being seen alone I found just how fun it is to be on your own. It's amazing how much more of the world you notice when you're not distracted by another person. You see all these tiny, beautiful things then look around to see if anyone else has noticed them. Most of the time they haven't, being either absorbed in conversation or with their eyes glued to their phone. It's almost as if once you stop distracting yourself and start taking notice, a whole new part of the world opens up for you.

I don't know when it happened, I don't know when the world decided to make people think that being alone was shameful, but I no longer want a part of it, and you shouldn't either. Go and be by yourself for a while, do something you've been too scared to do, or go for a long walk on your own, no music, no distractions, nothing. Just you and the secrets the world shares with those who listen. You'll notice things, like all those people on their phones alone at the bus-stop, pretending that they're texting as though it's critical to constantly prove to the world that they have friends. 

You don't need to prove anything, you just need to exist in a way that makes you happy.

x Erin

Ps. Let me know if you liked this post/this type of post. It's something new and different that I'm trying for my blog and would love any feedback!